Treat others how you want to be treated.
Finding the good in others is a wonderful way to stay positive and improve the quality of your life.
Observe two people arguing: when one of them raises his voice to impose himself, the other starts screaming louder to prevail and be heard.
Think of a leader who treats his collaborators with disinterest and harshness: they too will prove detached and secretly will vent and speak ill of him or her.
There is this sort of echo effect in life and relationships that people tend to reciprocate how they feel treated. Be friendly and others will be friendly. Show yourself indifferent and others will be indifferent. Love generates more love, while hate generates hate.
We have always heard the messages: “Behave as you would like others to behave with you” or “treat others how you would like to be treated”, right?
Although these messages are easily associated with religious interpretations, our aim with this piece is to explore how you can improve relationships starting with treating others well.
What does it mean to treat others well?
Treating others well does not mean giving them something material or filling them with gifts, but helping them to see the wealth that lies within them. In fact, each of us has the resources and the potential to achieve great things, but not all of us are capable of seeing them.
Sometimes, we need someone who acts as a “mirror” and who reveals the good in us. Stopping to see people on the surface because of the way they show themselves leaves an insignificant mark and, on the contrary, risks reinforcing their hurtful actions.
Focusing on the good in others, on the other hand, helps them to realize it, to become aware of it, and put it to good use in life and relationships.
You can experience it right away with those around you or when making new friends. Get curious about their life, explore what they do, find out what they are passionate about. People like to talk about themselves when they discover that someone is genuinely interested in them. They feel welcomed and are ready to welcome in turn.
Give them a smile, a kind gesture. Give them compliments and encourage them to give their best. Speak well of them as if you were a “sponsor” who does good publicity for the qualities they possess.
When you feel there is a potential to celebrate someone for something big or small, go ahead and do it! How many times have you felt the need to be supported by your friends or family to be more confident in your abilities? Offer this beautiful gesture to others to support them as they grow their gifts.
The only condition is that he does it in a genuine way: not to flatter others, nor to tell half-truths for good. When you don’t really think about something, people feel it and don’t trust it and you won’t feel satisfied and they won’t feel seen.
Why does treating a person well improve life?
Recognizing the qualities of others is equivalent to recognizing yourself. It is a training that leads you to constantly grow your ability to notice the potential you have inside. You will contribute to the joy of people who rediscover their own worth and at the same time, you will realize yours and how privileged you are.
Also, when you treat others well, you elevate your mood. It has been observed that the body reacts positively to acts of kindness and is flooded with pleasant sensations and emotions. This state causes endorphins and other hormones responsible for increasing physical and psychological well-being to be produced.
Treating others well and guiding them towards new awareness modifies the expectations they have towards you. If you think about it, when we talk to people who are very competent in their field, we recognize their authority even more if they are genuine and friendly. This is the secret: they treat close people well, who respond in line with the way they felt.
If you can see the essence and good of people, they will be grateful to you and see you differently. They will have a positive view of you which will improve your self-esteem and, consequently, your actions will be oriented towards achieving greater success.
Showing others respect, compassion, openness…
What is respect, and how does it relate to our relationship with others?
Respect is one of the most important ethical values for a satisfying life. The term respect is defined as the consideration, tact, and esteem that one has towards people, regardless of any kind of conditioning, such as race, color, sex, or religion.
Every person, for the simple fact of belonging to the human race, deserves consideration and respect. There are certain basic premises for the practice of respect, as an essential pillar of life:
1. Practice empathy
The golden rule states: “don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.” Every person deserves to be treated with respect, honor, and dignity. It is vitally important to treat others as we want others to treat us.
I cannot demand what I do not deliver; and if my treatment of others is satirical, rude, disrespectful, and arrogant; from that same seed that I am sowing, that same fruit I will reap.
Here it is essential to understand others, feel empathy, try to put yourself in their perspective, and have compassion for what they might be experiencing.
2. Show special consideration for children, the elderly, and the underprivileged
We can recognize a person’s character by the way he treats children and the elderly. Once you and I were children; we liked to get into mischief. All children are the same, it is important that we understand them and give them spaces for exploration and discovery.
Children are naive and deserve our special attention. It is vital to respect the elderly for the wisdom they share. It is necessary to help the less favored because, not only are we the same on many levels, it positively affects our society as a whole.
Life is fleeting, and all the good, the advice, the help, the appreciation, and the interest that we show for our fellow humans must be offered without expecting anything in return.
3. Respect yourself
Respect for yourself is about speaking, dressing, and living with dignity. You are worthy and deserving of good treatment, esteem, and consideration by others. Treat yourself with respect and forge attitudes of value, self-esteem, and consideration for yourself.
Try to observe others not for what they have, but for who they are. It is better to surround yourself with good people, who want the best for you, than those who are secretly jealous of your achievements and projects.
Observe respect as an inalienable right of yours; and a duty to fulfill towards other people. Respect the opinions and ideas of others, even if you don’t share them. Respect is an ethical value that is closely related to another outstanding value, tolerance.
4. Act from your healed parts, not your wounded parts
Hurt people hurt people. When we act from our wounded parts, we can lash out and cause other people pain. Instead of projecting our pain, let’s try and point inwards and tend to what needs transforming.
When others are projecting their pain onto us, setting compassionate boundaries while wishing them well helps both parties involved.
5. Do not judge others too quickly
Sometimes we make unsubstantiated and unfounded statements and judgments towards other people. We make unwarranted assumptions and look negative at other people.
Just as we do not like to be judged without basis or evidence, we should not judge others negatively. To judge without foundation is a disrespect for the honor and integrity of others. It is more appropriate to think well of people, trust and make friends; leaving aside mistrust, cynicism, and lack of courtesy.
6. Establish respect
Some believe that acting with arrogance and rudeness is equivalent to exercising authority; however, this is not conducive to respectful relationships. Reciprocal respect in all relationships, including family members, is extremely necessary. Speak without humiliating, offending, and mistreating. Address the facts, not the people.
7. Be helpful
Are you ignoring or passing by problems that you might be able to help with? How are you making a difference in this world? What are the little things you can do to help make someone’s day a bit brighter? They don’t need to be big things, although those are amazing. A lot of little contributions can add up to a life of purpose.
8. Let go of control
We have all tried to control others and situations at some point, it’s natural. We simply cannot control others, and our attempts to do so will create chasms from connection and respect. Give others the trust and respect to make their own choices and learn on their own what works for them.
Treating others well and just the way you want to be treated is a life-changing approach that can give you the chance to seek the good in people while spreading positivity all around. At the same time, you will find the qualities and talents that reside within you and you will feel good physically and emotionally. How beautiful is that? Give it a try and you won’t regret it!